Nov 6, 2007

10 can't miss shows... you really should miss: Part Deux

Survivor: If you watch this show you should be beaten with a bag full of broken glass.

Especially Survivor: China. What's the challenge? To survive the food? I get it - whoever doesn't get explosive diarrhea from the Kung Pao Surprise is the winner.

Gather 12 certified A-holes from across the country and watch em "scheme" like teens at a sorority rush. PA-THETIC. A bilious display of all that is reprehensible in the human spirit. These contestants should all be spit on and laughed at until they cry.

Meanwhile Jeff "Anal" Probst stands around, freshly showered, with his smarmy grin, thinking, "what a bunch of losers".

Oooh yeah, and sometimes they slap a lesbian or some aging queen on the show to really raise the dork quotient. Very compelling!

If I gotta hear another of these turds say "I'm playing to win the game" one more time, I'm gonna puke my pancreas out of my human nostril.

And these idiots aren't REALLY competing for a "million dollars" for Chrissakes! They, maybe, palm $600k (after prize taxes) for making complete asses of themselves (and HOPEFULLY losing their day jobs).

In fairness, I suppose if you’re a gigantic, puss-head yourself, then watching these shmoes probably allows you to feel mildly normal for an hour. Otherwise, you'd wake up and change the blessed channel.

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