Dec 5, 2007

Flawed Logic: A Tradition Since 0001

“The Catholic League are/(is?) calling for a boycott on Nicole Kidman’s new film ‘The Golden Compass.’ The political activists believe that film will teach children atheism. The movie is based on books by atheist author Phillip Pullman.
‘The Golden Compass’ is based on ‘His Dark Materials’ trilogy which is believed to be about a girl on a mission to kill God. The Catholic League believes the film will prompt
children to read the books.”
I can remember as a small child, especially around Christmas time, seeing Mom standing by the (real) fully decorated Christmas tree, waiving her buck knife around and cursing about the local Pastor, while she waited for the Turkey to dry out sufficiently to serve it to us and the cats. The cats were smarter and mostly snubbed the offering, but as we ate, sometimes I, my absent-minded sister, or a foolish guest would inquire as to why there was no “grace” was said before the meal.

My mother, being a strong woman – when questioned – would, after calmly babbling insults in Ukrainian, softly threaten to burn us with her cigar just to see if “This God of ours” would save us. Even though we believed in a higher power, none of us had the guts to test the theory. But our belief endured in the small, hidden places of our damaged psyches.

Now, when faced with things that are religiously nihilistic, I simply smile and rub my lucky Jesus Watch which, confidentially, tells me more than just the time… (Oh yes… it tells me lots of junk, much in an archaic form of Swati, but that’s not for you to judge, so shut your gum-hole) and I just go along my altruistic way.

On my way to work, where I poke burn victims and drink vodka for a living, I heard an uplifting news story about a well-adjusted man who was driving around in a truck with pictures of mutilated fetuses all over it.

His travels often took him past grade schools… not sure why, but it was probably just in the same location as his dry cleaner or something… anyway, the story said that he was found to be acting within the law, and cleared of public disturbance charges. Good for him! Them thar Grade Schoolers will think twice now before they go getting an abortion, I’ll tell you what!

Now if’n that truck hadda had pitchers of nekid ladies on there, the kind like God made, but never wants us to see… then I think they shoulda threwn him into the Supermax – Cuz that’s just plain disgusting! Just like when they arrested that Einstein who was playing porns on his in-car DVD system.

If children go around reading stuff, it could make them evil - And we can't have little girls going around trying to kill GOD!! I mean, what if they were to succeed? It would be horrible, right?.
Or... they could just do what I did and take it all with a grain of salt… which was invented, by the way, by GOD, in Gomorrah… back near the beginnin’ of time... a few hundred years ago.

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