Apr 18, 2008

Shred… or You’re Dead.

Report: NYC Freedom Tower plans found in trash

A homeless man has come forward with two sets of confidential ground zero blueprints that he says were dumped in a Lower Manhattan trash can.

The man brought the Freedom Tower plans to the New York Post, which says the 150-page schematic is marked: "Secure Document — Confidential

The documents are dated Oct. 5, 2007. They contain plans for each floor, the thickness of the concrete-core wall, and the location of air ducts, elevators, electrical systems and support columns.
The agency that owns the World Trade Center site, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, calls it a serious security lapse.

Meanwhile, the “Authorities”… after confiscating the blueprints, told the homeless man to “Beat it!” and “Get a job…”

Who knew some poor architect shmo was going to become homeless himself because he spilled coffee on the first round of designs? I mean, it was probably the version that had no elevators… so he tossed it like a bad poem. A natural act, if you ask me. (and you didn’t)

Man, those homeless boogers are like little King Rat clones. They can find francs in feces.

One day a hobo might just scrounge up Jimmy Hoffa’s ass.

But you know it’s getting bad when you can’t just throw shit in the garbage anymore.

Are we going to have to start saving everything…just in case? Can we flush?

  • You can’t throw away junk mail because someone might steal your identity
  • You can’t toss dead batteries cuz it’ll screw the environment
  • And you can’t dump Ryan Seacrest in a trash compactor because it interferes with his "Human Rights” - Hah! What about my "human right" to dispose of crap I don't want?

Will Oscar the Grouch find Oppenheimer’s lost notes? …or Corey Haim’s career?

Think about that the next time you, "just for fun", draw a diagram of how you will slaughter everyone at the DMV with a sharp hanger and a can of Lysol. Make sure you shred it when you're done!

...That's what I did.

Maybe we should send some bums to Iraq to see if they can uncover those pesky WMDs!

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