Oct 23, 2008

A Parting Shot

I really will miss this guy. He's sooo funny.

In fairness, we never really did get any oil from all this military muscle flexing.

We'd have been better off just finding some OPEC 10% off coupons and saving a few thousand American lives... but hey it's all blood under the bridge now. Let's move forward.

No matter what happens in November, the country can't possibly do worse. Both candidates make "The Dub" look like my pet goat.

But you'd paste his face on any picture and you had insta-hilarity. I mean look at those close set beady eyes...that chimpish mouth. Man, you couldn't even PLAN it to be more amusing.

Bushie-boy goes down with an economy in shambles -- Bin Laden still on the lam -- the arctic ice shelf a little smaller --and gay marriage firmly banished to the wings. All the while pointing an accusatory finger at the "dreaded Liberal" and "socialism" -- words he can barely pronounce let alone understand.

So now Georgie can move to Dallas, a stronghold of right-wing ignorance, misguided elitism and barely closeted racism.He’ll buy a big mansion in Highland Park and do some work for charity, but my guess is he’ll spend the rest of his days mostly incognito – in hiding from anything that exposes too much of his mediocre personality to the public.

And you can’t say he hasn’t earned that respite.

He’s taken a beating through the years, though mostly through is own devices, so I have to believe the ol’ frat boy is feeling like a motorcycle (2 tired).

The pure incompetence of W’s regime will be blamed on the Left by 50% of the nation. There’s no escaping it. Republicans never admit defeat and are incapable of holding themselves responsible for anything they do.

The recession will end eventually, and on that day George may poke his head out of his mansion and say, “See? I told you there was no recession.” But by then the hounds will be at some other slob’s door, and it might just be accepted as gospel.

Speaking of gospel, I was looking at some online poll that asked the proverbial question:

Was Jesus a Democrat or a Republican?

Though a decent percentage of people asserted that he was neither, (or that there was no way of knowing) the rest slid down the greasy poles of political bias.

Several posited that not only was Jesus a Republican, but that he was also very much alive and walking the earth. This type of logic is comparable to the droolings of Mark David Chapman just before he finally went off his nut.
It’s a hilarious question though. What concept could Jesus have of the political differences between Dems versus GOPs - or Hummers versus Volkswagens - or any other 21st Century concept?
Never mind that nonsense! There are more compelling questions to answer… and we’re running out of time.

For instance:

What would Elvis use? A Blackberry or an iPhone?

What Big-12 school would Abraham Lincoln have preferred? One with a good Poli-Sci program or one where he could make the Basketball team?

What would Billy Graham do if he was instantly transported to Jerusalem during the time of Jesus?

A.) Get beheaded instantly
B.) Get beheaded after a brief, but brutal, round of torture
C.) Meet Jesus and get in to an argument with him over religion
D.) Run and hide in a cave, sniveling like a little girl
E.) Have his tongue cut out for spewing BS in a strange language, and then get beheaded

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